What's the truer tragedy?

I just watched a documentary on Oakley Hall III who was apparently a great rising star in the theater world as a playwright and artistic director. I think this must have been in the 60’s or 70’s. I didn’t catch the exact timing of it. He was in a car accident that left him brain damaged and no longer the great creative force and mind that so many people admired and followed. What struck me most is the reaction of pretty much everyone he’s encountered since. Whether they knew him before the accident or not, they uniformly mourn the loss of who he was which, I suppose, makes sense, but what an awful thing for him to have to live with. Not only does he have to reconcile the loss for himself – to build a new identity, a new sense of purpose, but he is constantly faced with the disappointment and sorrow of everyone he encounters – even people who never knew him as that other person. Even in love, they mourn the person he no longer is, no longer can be. I wonder how much of it he sees and understands for what it is and I wonder how much their sense of loss in his presence affects him. I think that’s more tragic than the accident itself. One thinks it might have been kinder if the universe had let him die. The constant mourning of a man who, effectively, did die over 20 years ago. I’ve been left with a need to shake people for their selfishness – for seeming to care more for their loss than for the man he now is. How can the loss of what he might have been be more important than who he is now and might still become? The inescapable fact is that ‘what might have been’, wasn’t and, I suspect he was only ever meant to be that shining light for as long as he was. He himself said something along the lines of he thinks he burned too brightly before the accident, that maybe it’s better to burn more softly. I think my sympathy lies so strongly with him now because the show focused so relentlessly on what was lost rather than what has since been gained. I mean, the man has recovered far more than any doctor predicted was possible and continues to do so. What is that if not a testament to his greatness still being very much a real and living thing? Of course there should be sadness for what was lost but shouldn’t there be more joy for what he’s accomplished since?