Life is looking up...really

Once again I’m an 8-5 slave to the corporate agenda and it occurs to me I went to great lengths not so long ago to get out of the corporate world, to escape the set schedule, Mon-Fri drudgery. I recognize most of the working world is set up this way and that I need to work to be able to pay my bills and continue to be an independent adult. Whatever else is true – there’s no escaping that. There’s no need to have to spend my time doing things I don’t particularly enjoy – I recognize that as well. What I’m afraid of doing, is staying in this job because I have it – settling again for something I know won’t work for me any longer that it’ll take for me to get bored. This job is fine – it’s certainly no worse than LMC and it does have the benefit of not being LMC. Nevertheless...suffice to say that what I’m learning here is much like what I learned at LMC – useful but not interesting.

The other thing that’s going on is that I’m writing again. Writing poetry of all things! I’ve never imagined myself as a poet…mostly because I’ve always cringed at my poetry…not so anymore and that’s scary and exciting all at once. I went to the introduction to the Landmark Forum and, what I got out of it was that, somewhere along the way, I’d lost the joy I used to feel in writing. It had gotten hedged in by too much expectation and too much fear of failure. I’d buried what made me happy about what I do under all this dren that doesn’t actually exist. I’ve been excavating ever since and what keeps coming up are poems…I’m shaking my head even saying it – that’s how weird it feels to me…weird and strangely good. I’ve also been keeping a daily journal for what is probably the first time in my life. I mean, I’ve always journaled but I’ve never been consistent about it on a daily basis…so, poetry and daily journal entries…2 things I’ve never kept as part of my life before this past month. I feel…good…and I keep waiting for another shoe to drop or something because it really can’t be this simple, can it?